Since the democratic party has fine-tuned the art of election theft, an emboldened Joe Biden is encouraging thievery at all levels. At an event with U.S. Marines, the illegitimate president told a kid to “go steal a pumpkin.” And yes, the child looked as confused as all of you must be right now.

Joe and his elder care nurse, Dr. Jill, hosted a “Friendsgiving” meal with Marines in North Carolina. After he was introduced by a family of 6, Biden got handsy with one of the boys, massaging his shoulder:

“Imagine, this has to be boring, boring, boring for these kids to stand up here,” started Biden.

Joe then leaned into the obvious freaked-out kid and gave him permission to steal.

“You’re allowed to do anything you want, in in including go steal a pumpkin if you want. Anything you wanna do,” Biden said.

WTF? Go steal a pumpkin?

Is this what Joe thinks kids like to do? Was that pastime for children when Joe was young, back in the Middle Ages?

What a completely bizarre thing, even by Dementia Joe standards, for him to say. On top of which, he’s encouraging a kid to commit a crime.

Maybe this was some kind of pedophile grooming code for something I care not to speculate on. He did put his hands on the kid and after the speech he sniffed the boy’s baby sibling, so there’s that.

The only other explanation is that Joe is out of his fricken’ mind. There are some pumpkins on display behind where Biden was speaking so maybe he saw them and the only thing his diminished brain could come up with was, “go steal a pumpkin.”

Speaking of being out of his mind, Joe invented a new country:

“I used to get in trouble for saying when I was a Senator, Mamerica has a lot of responsibilities,” said Biden.

Mamerica? Is that like America with big tits? I guess that doesn’t sound too bad as long as they aren’t bitch tits. For the record, the United States does have the largest average breast size in the world. USA! USA!

Joe then slipped this non-sequitur between talking about empty chairs and bragging about his world travels.

“By the way I’m serving mash potatoes, so come to my place. I’m licking’, all kidding aside,” Biden said.

He needs to work on his comedy routine if he thinks that was a joke. Also, he needs to work on his coherency if he thinks that made sense.

Dr. Jill spoke before Joe was introduced and basically made the dinner with the Marines all about the Bidens’ dead son Beau. When Joe spoke, he did the same thing.

“I member when our son Beau was in Kosovo for six months as a U.S. attorney and then he volunteered to hair a to Iraq for a year and every morning and I get up before before Jill the my wife’s a teacher she’d get a, she’s up earlier than me, she’d be outa, outa the house by 7 o’clock,” Biden said.

Cool story, bro. What does it mean?

The bad news is this drooling empty shell is the Commander-in-Chief but the good news is, the kid resisted Joe’s advice and never tried to steal a pumpkin.