Creepy President Invades Female Reporter’s Personal Space, Gets Confused

Dust off your pu**y hat and hit the streets, ladies! A creepy president invaded a female reporter’s personal space and indulged himself in some unwanted touching, and we can’t have that!

Gropey Joe left the White House Tuesday to head to New York for his infrastructure speech. As he passed through the usual phalanx of reporters, one foxy correspondent, NBC’s Kristen Welker, caught his twinkling eye. She was plainly asking for it when she queried, “What’s behind your decision to end the COVID emergency, Mr. President?” Responding to her come-hither advances, the most powerful man in the world reached for her hand, held tight, and pulled himself into the intimate space beneath the woman’s umbrella. There, he unleashed his irresistible 50,000-watt denture grin and purred, “What’d you say?”

Welker mastered her initial impulse to recoil and repeated her question like a professional: “What’s behind your decision to end the COVID emergency?”

Biden switched gears from flirt to newsmaker as adeptly as he was able. “The COVID emergency will end when the Supreme Court ends it,” he explained through a pheromone haze, seeming to conflate his own announcement that he would end the COVID-19 Public Health Emergency with his administration’s inexplicable legal battle to end its Title 42 emergency deportation powers. “We’ve extended it to May the 15th to make sure we get everything done. That’s all. There’s nothing behind it all.”

The Biden Administration previously announced that it would end the COVID-19 national emergency — and Title 42 will expire along with it — on May 11, Bloomberg has reported.

But, hey, he was close!

Someone keep Tara Reade away from social media for a day or two so she doesn’t see the clip and get triggered. It’s all too easy to imagine what then-Senator Biden looked like when he allegedly pinned her to a hallway wall, growled that he had heard she liked him, and engaged in some unwanted touching.